I saw a friend post a photo on Facebook earlier. It was a comparison of two women and how one was better looking than the other due to one being heavier and less curvaceous than the other.
It got me thinking about the whole "body shaming" phenomenon. Why do we judge each other? Whether intentional or not, we all do it to some degree. We even self shame. Why are we so horrible to ourselves and others? What do we gain from ripping each other to shreds instead of building each other up.
As humans, we are all self critical. No one can honestly say they are 100% happy and confident with who they are. No one. We all have what we class as flaws; wobbly bits, scars, spots, too much hair, not enough hair... the list goes on. We pull ourselves apart and it hurts. It's painful to realise that we are so down on the person that we are.
Knowing how horrible it is to hate parts of yourself, why do we then judge others? Why do we feel that it's ok to make others feel how we ourselves feel every time we criticise our own bodies? We must realise that we have thoughts and feelings. So do others.
We've all flicked through celeb mags and commented on how slim Cheryl Fernandez Whatever She's Called these days is or passed comment on so and so putting weight on and having cellulite blah blah blah... So? Who cares? Who does it directly influence? Who are any of us to have the right to judge another human being on their appearance?
I have raised Noah to never judge anyone on their appearance. He never looks at me and comments on the things that I hate. He compliments me in the most beautiful of ways. He sees only his mother. He doesn't see the wobbly belly, the hairy bits, the stretch marks or the odd spot. He sees a woman who loves him and is there for him. He sees my best bits.
Surely we should all do the same? See the best in someone and lift them up by complimenting them on it. If we are complimented we should thank the person not brush it off and start moaning that we are too fat or spotty or ugly etc.
As one of my favourite authors once said "Is fat really the worst thing a human being can be? Is fat worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, evil, or cruel? Not to me"
JK Rowling makes so much sense. How we look is no reflection on how we are as people. You could be the most beautiful, flawless person on the outside but be cruel and ugly on the inside.
I'd rather be me, with my wobbly belly (I got that through having an amazing child) and my frizzy hair and chunky legs (Great for swimming you know) and know that I am a kind, loving person than be the most stunning woman in the world and be a bitch.
Let's build each other up. Let's build ourselves up. Stop judging people on the exterior and concentrate on the soul. I've never heard anyone insult my liver or my lungs for being too pink. I've never had anyone tell me that I have an ugly pancreas. I have however been told I'm, fat, ugly etc and you know what... Who cares. I am what I am.
That's all any of us ever can be.
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