Stop the parenting world, I want to get off!!!

I have had enough.

If I have to repeat myself 1000 times a day for the next 8 years I will cry.

"Turn your light off before you come downstairs please"
"Yes mum"

This is my conversation EVERY morning. Every morning I go upstairs before we leave to find his light is still on. Sometimes I actually trust him. This morning I trusted him. I didn't go upstairs until 9pm this evening as have had a ridiculously long day at work and didn't venture upstairs until much later on. His light was still on. It's been on since 7.30 this morning.

So yet again he's wasted 14 hours worth of electricity. 14 damn hours. Yes we have energy saving light bulbs and it probably amounts to pence but on what planet is this ok? On what planet does he live, that wasting electric and shrugging it off, is not a big deal?

Noah is a great child. He's intelligent, funny, sensible and lovely. Alas he has zero common sense. I am sick of repeating myself on an endless loop. I'm fed up of the constant battle of "It's bedtime" "Just one more video pleaseeeeeeeeeeee" That then turns into a twenty minute video meaning he still ends up in bed half an hour later than I would like.

The tougher I get, the more stupid he seems to become. He still has a severe lack of road sense which concerns me considering he will be walking himself to school in less than a years time. He cannot grasp that taking 15 minutes to get dressed when we have to leave in 5 minutes is not appropriate. He is so SLOW. Unless it involves something that benefits him.

I have a teenager, THREE YEARS EARLY.

He's too lazy to lift the toilet seat so if I'm not with it and just go to the loo, half the time I sit in a massive piss puddle which is apparently also ok. Let me tell you... FREEZING COLD BOY PISS IS NOT NICE TO SIT ON!

Why do we do it? Why do we have children only for them to torment us for the next 40000 years?
"When is your homework due in?"
"Monday, no Tuesday, erm no possibly Friday"

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ASK YOUR DAMN TEACHER!!!

I love him to bits don't get me wrong but this both frustrates and annoys me beyond belief. I am almost tempted to record myself complaining at him that I can just play on loop and save myself the bother.

"Turn your light off, Turn your light off, TURN YOUR DAMN LIGHT OFF. Please get dressed, please brush your teeth, please lift the toilet seat, please flush the chain when you've done a dump bigger than a molehill, please put your washing in the basket. Don't leave that on the floor, PICK UP THAT THING OFF THE FLOOR THAT IS NOW BROKEN"

That's not even half of it. It would take me a week to record all the shite I have to say on a day to day basis. It's so tiring.

And all we parents ever get in return is a shrug.