You cure my melancholic moods.

I'm a moody bitch. I'm a crabby Cancerian with the ability to go from Princess to Evil Queen in a matter of minutes. I am emotionally fired up and very often go through phases where I can be utterly vile to get along with.

I don't mean to be so melodramatic. I just am. It's my biggest flaw. I also see it as my greatest characteristic. I'm not afraid to feel. I'm not afraid to tell you how I feel. I'm not afraid to show you how I feel. Good or bad, I wear my emotions firmly on my sleeve and I love that about myself. It can be draining, on myself and those around me when I am in my darkest of places. I'm not ashamed that I suffer from depression. There are periods of my life where I do struggle with day to day life. My friends are great. They lift me up and try to get me to see that there are so many positive aspects to my life.

It's difficult facing "The Monster". He's terrifying. He's black and consuming and I have no shiny Patronus to send him packing. I have to rely on my strength. Strength I do not always have. I fight a good fight but sometimes I need that pair of arms to wrap around me and tell me it's going to be ok. To not judge me when I cry at nothing or can't explain why I feel the way I do. It's taken me a long time to find a set of friends who I know will do that, without question, without thinking and without reward.

I know I'm stressful to deal with when I'm not myself. I try my upmost to stay out of these funks and I'd like to think my friends would view me in a mainly positive light. I like to make people laugh, I like seeing them smile and happy and it destroys me to see them sad.

So this blog post is a thank you. To those of you who do understand. To those of you who do not look at me and think "What on Earth is she depressed for?" I raise my glass to those of you who can placate me when I'm losing my shit over being ignored. To those of you who text me out of the blue when you know I need to have a good night out. To those of you who don't get annoyed with me when I make plans and have to cancel them because I just can't deal with leaving the house.

And thank you to my newest friend. A friend who is showing me a different way of looking at things. That challenges me, makes me laugh and makes my world a brighter place. Who calls me narcassistic because I think he's a male me and I like that about him. Who drew a big penis with me in a pile of stones just because I'm a big kid at heart.

I love you all. Thank you. For curing my melancholic moods. x